I Am Awesome

I have noticed that I only really write when I am unhappy. When I see there is something wrong and/or I am scared. Right now, as I sit here and write this, I don’t know if I am happy or sad, scared or not. I am just me, it is Sunday night and I am semi dreading going to work tomorrow. I left work on Friday after a near explosion and my first crucifixtion as I see it. In my line of work, anything I say and do can and will be used against me at any time, and can and will be turned around to fit the other persons defense and story. That is what happened to me. I am pretty sure everything will be OK, but tomorrow and this coming week will tell for sure. While I am being brave and knowing that this is just a part of my job and a first occasion of many. I am still growing my backbone. I will be OK, I KNOW I will be OK. I just have to believe that. However, I just can’t let my work effect the rest of my life. I need to leave the office at 5 o’clock and do what I work for. Myself and my art, I am working on it. I am sitting here writing, that is a part of my art. One day I will get some art supplies and begin to draw and paint again. I will hopefully soon, publish some of my photography. This is all a release. I am more than simply my job. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. For the most part, I work with some really great people, and that is one thing I love, I love working with people, I get a charge and a high working with and being around people. I also love the work I do, it is a lot of multi-tasking and balancing and I love that. I feel like I am actually doing something. But when work gets stressful, like it did on Friday, I need to know, I need reassurance that I am more than my job, and petty accusations are simply that. Because I AM AWESOME, I AM AWESOME, I AM AWESOME!!!