Bored and Broke

November 1, 2008

I am bored today. Not really bored, just really unmotivated. There is a ton of stuff to do, but I don’t want to do any of it. For one thing, it seems as if I do the same thing every weekend. Clean. I clean the same thing every weekend, and several times during the week. I clean the kitchen, vacuum, mop, laundry, clean the bathroom and take out several tons of trash that I still can’t figure out how I can accumulate so much trash?!

I’m also a bit depressed, I am BROKE BROKE BROKE right now. I mean BROKE, I don’t know how I do it sometimes. There are times when I am doing fine on money, but other times, I just don’t know. Now is one of those times, and nothing has really changed, I don’t really have any extra bills, I have not been spending any different. It does seem like my economic status is seriously down in the dumps right now. I need money, lots of money. Well, not lots of money, but enough money to get through.

The biggest thing I hate about being broke is the stigma that comes along with it. My mom looks at me with pitty and like I have not been making smart decisions, i.e. playing with my credit card. Well, playing with my credit card did kind of started this spiral, but I have all but stopped now. Well, not completely stopped, with being broke, my credit card is the only way I am buying essentials, like gas. But this stigma I feel with being broke is something I see as society giving to a lot of people. I am a responsible person, I pay my bills on time, even if it means I can’t pay for anything else, like a cocktail or a burger off the dollar menu. One thing I have learned though, is that my economic status, like the countries economic status is cyclical. Now I’m not an expert, so I am not even going to begin to comment on the current state of the country’s economy. But I know that as little money as I have now, I will HAVE that much money in the near future. I just have to stick it out and not go out and play and spend money. I also know from personal experience that the Lord provides. I remember there was a time in my life when I was unemployed, working temp positions and a part time retail job and I remember crying at the drive-thru teller of the bank, because I was blessed. I had just enough money to pay for what I needed to pay for at that time. I got out of that, and I can get out of this.

I am also learning from my current economic status. I am partly in this position because I did play a little to hard with my credit card, and now it is coming back to haunt me and it hurts. I consider my credit card payment as a payment that I do not have to pay. I.e. it’s not like it’s a utility bill that I have to have that I must pay. A credit card bill is a bill that I never had to have. I didn’t have to go shopping, I didn’t have to go to dinner with my friends a million times. Therefore, I don’t have to have this bill. So, when I get this card paid off, I will be a lot more careful how I use it, and not rack it up so high. If I use my credit card, I will make sure I will be able to pay off the balance at the end of the month. Like a smart and responsible person like me should do. Also, once I get my credit card paid off, I will no longer have that bill, hen I can simply concentrate on my student loans, another bill that is killing me.

So, its 7pm on my No Motivation, Bored day, tonight, I plan on going low budget, making a cocktail from my own liquer cabinet and watching a movie and knitting. Hopefully, I will have more motivation tomorrow to do laundry and finish the cleaning I didn’t quite get done today.